Sure, write a blog and display your work for everyone to see! I mean, everyone is going to love it and tell me how amazing it is, right? False. Whenever you gain enough courage to overcome your worst fears, or you have plenty of confidence and decide to put yourself out there, someone, somewhere, will always have something to say. You’d like to think that others would applaud you for your bravery, promote your work, or even support you for doing what you love. While that is mostly the case here, there will be people that feel I have no place blogging about lifestyle, beauty, healthy etc. They will criticize my work, ignore it, or eventually leave hurtful comments – and that’s something I have to be prepared for. After playing out various scenarios, I ultimately hit publish on my blog. I’ve embarked on this new adventure because it makes me happy, and I don’t care what other people think.
Why wouldn’t I care? Because I spent years building the courage to face my fears of failure and negativity, surrounded myself with friends who support me, and finally found a platform where I can be myself and grow while finding peace in whatever happens, happens.
This is all about stepping outside of your comfort zone and taking solace in the fact that it’s all about you. Whatever makes you happy (as long as it doesn’t wrong or hurt others) is the path you should take and the life you should lead. We all face the same fears of being accepted, loved, criticized, shamed, or judged. It takes a lot of courage to step outside of that box, whether it be in sports, work, social media, with friends…once outside of those lines you’ve drawn in the sand, you’re exposed.
I’ve personally battled with anxiety and a fear to fail. Both professionally and socially. I always strive to be the best at everything I can; the best student, employee, friend, girlfriend, daughter, and sister. I would get anxiety about what people thought that I would end up losing myself completely. It wasn’t until a few years ago that my near and dear friend stopped and reminded me of her favorite quote: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” – John Lennon. Since then, I’ve had it written in a frame, nailed to my wall, and have used it as a reminder that I need to take a deep breath and not be so damn hard on myself.
Fine, we may not always have our shit together. We might even find ourselves worrying what others think when we really shouldn't. However, I believe that as long as we have principles and tools at our disposal to guide us through, we can grow more confident and find ways to deal with our insecurities.
Here are a few things that have helped me throughout the years:
1. Yoga – allow your brain to shut off for an hour. Set your intention, what do you want to focus on during your practice? I often spend my class thinking about how I want to grow more confident and more forgiving.
2. Quotes – write them on your mirror, set them as a background on your phone, frame them, wherever you put them make them visible – daily. Remind yourself of that quote whenever your heart starts to race. For example..."No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.
3. Support Network (friends, associates, other cheerleaders) – surround yourself with good people. The kind that want to see you succeed and be happy. And forget the rest! They say we are a reflection of our closest friends so have people around you that fuel your energy and surround you with positivity.
4. Smile – start your day with positive thoughts and a smile. Perhaps work isn’t ideal, an exam didn’t go well, you lose a tournament, ended a relationship, etc. but at the end of the day you are your own reminder that you’re blessed to be alive, loved, and have the ability to make life what it is. Power of positive thinking!
5. Hobby – do things that make you happy. Blog, read books, Pin-terest, workout, play sports, paint, drink a glass of wine with dinner or snuggled up to your favorite TV show, etc. Whatever it is, add something to your life that brings you joy.
(Pants: Aritzia, Heels: Marc Fisher , Top: Winners, Rings: Teonella , Earrings: Forever21)
Urban Meets Erban xox