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The 5 Friendships In Adulthood.

October 4, 2017

 

We all have our categories of friends. Some move from one to the other, some disappear, some come back, and some just float in between. Naturally, we all grow up and so do our friendships. Over the years, I'm lucky to say I've really surrounded myself with a good group of friends. I've said goodbye to toxic relationships, seen friendships blossom, focused more on those that matter, and have evaluated what each brings into my life. Your categories may not be similar to mine or even close, but I'm sure we can all relate to a few of the categories below: 

 

Note: Marie and I did not plan to wear similar outfits. This is just the result of our friendship, always twinning!

 

 

1.       The 9-5 Friend:

 

The 9-5 friend is the one you meet at the office. The friendship that grows out of the office kitchen, next to the coffee machine. You begin by talking about the lack of creamers or medium blend coffee, dirty dishes in the sink, your weekend, the weather, and other mundane things. Eventually, you test the waters and talk shop, finding you have similar views and can relate when it comes to daily frustrations. Similar views, lifestyle, likes and dislikes begin to surface. You have been around one another enough and even begin to sit next to one another at office events. These relationships take longer to develop, walking the fine line between colleague and friend. Eventually, you both bitch about your day-to-day and realize that you feel one another. Finally, someone who can relate and saves your roommate or partner from getting an earful after work!  I’ve developed incredible friendships with my colleagues, now friends, and find they’ve become my closest allies at work and one of my most genuine friends outside of the office. I find these friendships only continue to build and often carry on even if we’re no longer at the same office. (Shout out to my #CottageBabes).

 

 

2.       New Best Friend.

 

Ever have a friendship that grows overnight, gains several Instagram posts in a row, and develops hashtags that only the two of you understand (#WTFIM)? It’s the friend, like love at first sight, that just gets you. It leaves the two of you feeling like they do in Stepbrothers… “Did we just become best friends? Yup!”  You may not have everything in common but what you do have is a natural ability to make friends, go with the flow, and an attitude to try everything once – at least... You don’t hang out all the time but when you do you make others leave #SquadGoal comments on your post. It’s an inexplicable bond. As an adult, you should be at a point in your life where you cut the bullshit. You weed out the jerks, remove the ones that don’t support you, and make time and effort for those that enjoy your company... When you do that, your energy changes and like-minded people will gravitate. Naturally, when you meet your new best friend their circle consists of good people…and those good people…eventually become your friends too. Your circle of friends meet, everyone gets a long, and new friendships begin to form. Because with new best friends, everyone can sit with us.  

 

 

3.       Oldie But A Goodie

 

Friends from way back, sharing fruit by the foot and snacking on PB&J sandwiches. It’s those that truly fuel the soul after you’ve looked back at all the adventures you’ve experienced together. You’ve had both good and bad moments, some that might have left scars but others that have left an imprint on your soul – regardless, you’ve stuck by one another. This is the friend you can count on, judgment free, to put you in your place when you need it or to support you when you feel alone. These are the friendships I protect most because they’re no longer just friends, they’re family. A new best friend can grow to have your back as much as the oldie, but, the bond you create over decades is one that cannot be replaced. Sure, you may end up in arguments that leave you parting ways for a while but you always come back to one another. As you grow and life takes you down different paths, your friendships need to adjust. Like a marriage, for better or for worse, the old friends are by your side. These are the friends that help shape you and often direct you down the right path.

 

 

4.       Breaking Up Is Hard

 

The friend you want to tell off, repeatedly, but you don’t because it’s better to stay quiet than engage in a full on war. You stick by this friend because you have a history. Although your relationship may have more downs than ups, you’ve gone through life together and have battled side-by-side. Friends may come and go, and some are only there to serve a purpose at a certain stage in your life (that might sound harsh, but it’s true). Whether it be to help you grow, to teach you a life lesson, or to support you through a difficult time. The breakup friend is the one that no longer holds the same values, is on an entirely different wave length, and whose priorities no longer run parallel to yours. You ultimately struggle with the idea of parting ways because you care for that friend. Yet, you don’t walk away from your interactions feeling confident in your friendship because you know it lacks core values; trust, honest, forgiveness, and understanding. You have no reassurance that an argument won’t lead to being thrown under the bus, you don’t feel like they are honest with you or themselves, they don’t forgive you for canceling plans last minute, and they simply don’t understand you or your life anymore. You are no longer the friends you once were and that’s ok... We all grow up, eventually, and we have to learn to let go at some point. So let go.

 

 

5.    The League Friend

 

The one you meet at a drop in, through a league, or shooting hoops at the gym. The friend that's more of an acquaintance but you see each other enough that it's more than just a hello in passing. When you send an invite to 300+ people on Facebook you can't honestly say they're all "friends", right? Over the years you've gained friends, lost friends, met people, know of people, and have seen the same person at events through a mutual friend... That's not necessarily someone you'd text about how wildly messed up The Handmaid’s Tale is (amazing show, btw). They're the person you play volleyball with once a week and may grab a beer with post game, or even see at parties hosted by the sports community. These relationships are often easy going and stress free. They deserve a big hug or high-five when you see them, you like their posts on social media and support them in entrepreneurial endeavors, possibly get together in a smaller group once or twice a year, but they're not someone you typically invite to casual nights out. I care for these acquaintances just like I would a friend, but we're not going to have a sleep over and braid each other's hair either.

 

Marie reminded me of a quote from It's A Wonderful Life..."Remember, no man is a failure who has friends." So, at the end of the day, you may have some of these types, or even different ones, but no matter what life is richer with them.

 

 

 

 

 Photography by: Le Boyfriend

 Special thanks to: My stunning friend, Marie.

 

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